I’m trying to collect my thoughts. Searching for clarity. I lay here surrounded by this feeling that has encompassed me for far too long now. I look at you with nothing but the truth and get nothing but uncertainty in return. Stuck in hopeless disappointment that offers only heavy eyes and a scattered mind, I wonder why I bother to waste my time anymore; stuck on this idea of some sort of potential. I want you to prove me wrong, but you won’t. You wouldn’t dare take the chance. The wall is up held strong by my guard; without a reason to shatter my doubts. This disappointment is reality residing within naive affection. But more so than ever, the likelihood of backing away completely and ridding myself of your influence seems to be the only solution to this painful state of disappointment.
I could feel the gold rushing out of my fingers. One step closer.
What’s the opposite of a xanax? I’m in dire need of not feeling perpetually exhausted and on the verge of self-destruction.
my life is complete.
Those who can thrive at your highest; but support you at your lowest are where the purest and truest of friendships lie. All who encompass the essence of my existence have witnessed breakdowns, heartaches, and sadness. The vulnerability of all that is it to be human. It is that which I have come to appreciate most of all.
Everything feels as if its been going in slow motion these last two weeks. A mile a week, basically. This constant state of exhaustion mixed with immense frustration and grogginess is starting to take its toll.
Literally - locking my door, putting my headphones in, and refusing to interact with anything that has a pulse for the next 48 hours.
The fact that I have to continually questions your intentions with our friendship is really starting to get damn old.